How to live?

I needed to write some things down. I have not been doing so well lately. I am not going to sugarcoat this, I feel pretty messed up. Losing my mother, not being able to move forward in life, making wrong decisions and not making any decisions at all is causing me to have some serious breakdowns. I am diagnosed with depression, which has a lot to do with the mourning proces I am still going through even though mom died 3 years and 15 days ago. Maybe depression has always been lurking but never had the chance to really catch me but it finally did. It really gives me the idea I don't know how to live life anymore. How do people do "life"? I can't even get up in the morning and take care of myself. I just get out of bed and go straight to the couch were I lay all day. I stay in my PJ's, I don't shower, don't brush my teeth for days. It's disgusting, I know. I feel disgusting and it's no fun, I don't want to do this... All I want is to live a normal and happy life where I balance work, family, friends and fun just like any other human being. But then again, I don't know if anyone has it figured out. Maybe everyone has to go through some shit at one point. It makes me think about those cheesy romantic Hollywood movies where in the beginning everything is fine and then everything gets messed up. In the end, everything always turns out even better. Maybe I just have to wait a little, my "sad part" is going on right now and it will not last forever. I just really hope it will be over soon..

My all time favorite books

I love reading because I quite like getting away from reality. Therefor I thought it might be a good idea to make a little list of my favorite books and some must-readers!

In my short, young life, I've already read so many I can't even remember all of the books I read. Still there is one series that changed my life and that's Harry Potter. I cannot tell you how much I love J.K. Rowling's writing! I started with the first book when I was about 9 end I read the last one when I was probably 17. I haven't read them all because my grandma bought me the books and she sometimes forget which one so she just bought several. I have watched every movie off course. The funny thing is that I genuinely felt empty when I finished the last book and the feeling was even worse after the last movie. I really feel like I grew up with the characters, they were with me for a significant part of my life. I'll probably get a tattoo one day or something. That's kinda nerdy but you know, that's just how I feel. I also signed up for Pottermore and I got sorted by the sorting hat in Ravenclaw. I'm so happy to know in which house I belong.

Harry Potter is definitely my number one. I still managed to read other books and lately I have been reading a little bit more to get my mind off of things. Here follows my list, without Harry Potter in it or I'll have to start at number 6 to get another book in there. I hope it provides you with some ideas about what to read, maybe during your next summer holiday! My top 5, here we go!

1. To Kill A Mockingbird. by Harper Lee
   This book is so so so great, I can't even tell you how much I love it. It's really beautiful. It's about racism in the fifties in Southern America, but told by a little girl. Just wonderful and sometimes heartbreaking.
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Ghost Child. by Torey L. Hayden
   A book my mom read and she gave it to me afterwards so I could read it because I always wanted to be a psychologist. It's shocking in every single way. This is really heavy stuff about the horrors a little girl tells Torey, so horrific nobody wants to believe it. The worst part is that it's a true story, no fiction.
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas. by John Boyne
   I had to read this book for school when I started studying English and I literary cried at the end. It a fast-reading book, I think I'd read it in about a day. Many of you probably know the story but for those of you who don't, go on and read it! It's about WWII and Auschwitz.
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. The Farm. by Tom Rob Smith
   The book's about a son who gets a call form his dad saying his mom is imagining things and that she's believing in non-existing conspiracies. Minutes later his mom arrives with evidence and she explains everything. The son is judge, does he alarm the police and believe his mom or does he go with his dad and bring her to a hospital? Great story with a really unexpected ending!
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. A Brave New World. by Aldous Huxley
   This book was given to me by my teacher Dutch in my last year of high school. She knew I liked to read and I told her I wanted to read an interesting book for our next assignment and she suggested I read this one. It's a great book with some interesting theories about how men will evolve with technology that's ever-growing.
   
   
   
   
   
   

That's my top 5. I promise to extend this list if I ever come across other books worth mentioning! I still have some books to finish like a book from the writer of Sherlock Holmes, but about another detective. I got it from a second hand shop. I also still have to read The Great Gatsby and Portrait Of Dorian Gray, they're waiting to be discovered.

Love, Sinitta

Valentine's Day is coming - part II

Hello dear bloggers and readers from around the world!

I was telling my boyfriend about my blog post about Valentine's Day gift ideas to buy men and he told me I should also write one directed towards men with gift ideas for their girlfriends. So that's what this post is going to be about. Now I, myself, am a girl so I think I can figure out quite well what girls would like but I suggest you guys try to listen to the hints your girl is giving you. Us women will always give you hints, through things we like on Instagram, Facebook, maybe things on Twitter or we'll just directly tell you what we want. I always do the last one. I'll give him some clues or maybe send him pictures of things I want. Is that not romantic? Or maybe selfish.. Anyway, it still is a win-win-situation because I (sometimes... ) get what I want and he doesn't need to freak out about what to give me.

I can surely understand that you guys still need a helping hand, because girls need that too.

I'll start off with some basics. Things every (well almost) women will be happy with.

• Flowers, we all love them and they're not so hard to pick. A bouquet of red roses is always something sweet to give. Maybe give a specific amount, like when you're together for 6 months, get 6 roses. 
• Perfumer. Girls love to smell good so this is a really good option. Off course perfumer can get expensive and if you buy a scent she doesn't like, that would be super awkward for both of you. So before you buy this, try figuring out which scents she likes. I personally like Miss Dior by Dior. I really hope my boyfriend is reading this.
  If you still want to buy her perfumer but you don't want to spend tons of money, some stores sell cheaper versions or search the internet for outlet sales. Scents also change by the season and some may be out of fashion.
• A stuffed animal. Cheesy as this sounds, getting her a cute teddy or another kind of stuffed animal, will melt your baby's heart because you're showing your soft side. Still not any stuffed animal will do, think 'super cute and I want to pinch its cheeks so hard'. So like sharks are not okay. 

Knitted Fox ♥

On the other hand a present is maybe not what your girl is looking for. Some girls like a date more. So you can take her out for dinner or take her to something she loves to do. I can't come up with other examples right now but I'm sure you know what I mean.

BUT. Yes, women always need a but. Even tough she might say she only wants a date, she still wants a present. Even if she insists not getting her something, get her something. She'll be grumpy afterwards if you don't. There for I'll now give you some specific examples, things I like or things I think women will like in general.

Like in my previous post, I'll use Etsy.com. Products from Etsy are always unique and hand-made. She'll love that. 

1. Every girl likes beauty products. Especially if it's something special or organic. Now I don't recommend you buying make-up. We have to be very picky when it comes to make-up because it depends on our skin type, undertone and so on. If you want to give her make-up, get her a gift card from her favorite brand. 

Bath Salt with Spirulina - €8.08
Check out the store, it has great stuff! KalaNatur

Make Up Brush Holder  - €13,92
for you make-up addict :-)

I know Lush is a thing now, but this is cheaper and I'm not really a brand fan.
Eucalyptus Bath Bombs - €4,49
This store is also worth checking out! theblacksheepsoapco

2. Women also like beautiful solutions for their dull everyday objects. Getting her a nice calender, some cute mugs or pretty notebooks will be a good choice.

She Drinks Whiskey From A Teacup Pencils - Set of 6 - €9,81
I love these imprinted pencils. Makes me wanna start writing!
Also best store ever ♥ MissPoppyDesign

2015 Letterpress Calendar - €11,67
Other designs in the shop! 1canoe2

My life would be complete with these. I love them. Give me.
Cute Cat Mug - €19,75
Again, shop, check it out: TickledTealBoutique

To write down her enemies and her anger, really helpful.
Lined pages moleskin Notebook - €5,90
different sizes and modifications possible

3. Diamonds are a girl's best friend. It's a fact but it doesn't have to be diamonds, jewelry in general will do. These are my favorites.

Rose quartz ring - Raw stone mineral - €23,32
More designs in the shop: TinyMountainsDesigns

Gemstone point necklace - €25,14
If your girl likes this kind of jewelry, do check out the shop! EwelinaPas

Tiny Heart Studs - €5,84

This really beautiful ring dish, maybe put THE ring in it?
Ceramic Lotus Ring Dish Navy Blue - €16,16
The shop has some more beauties, in love now. ngordon

4. Girls also like interior decor. You can always buy her a cute little cushion or whatever. Some great ideas:

Iridis Prism Terrarium, medium -- for air plant terrarium or small succulent - €143,65
This is expensive, I know. But so gorgeous. And it's stained glass.
Shop: ABJglassworks

Heart Geometric Print - €11,22

2 CUSTOM Mason Jar Wall Vases or Sconces - €24,24
you can change the writing to whatever two words you'd want, like 'love you'
or; wanna date? or; be mine... you get the idea

There's always plenty more to give. These are just some ideas. Don't forget a cute little Valentine's card. It's always nice for us girls to read what you love/like about us. Be funny or cheesy. Maybe write a little funny poem. Or just I love you. Or maybe do what Hallmark says, without the word love!

I hope you can find her the perfect present and I wish you a romantic Valentine's Day. Still I hope my boyfriend sees this, I might mail him the link. Or is that too much?

Love,

Sinitta

Frangipane Cake

Dear readers,

As promised in my previous post, I'll give you a really easy recipe for frangipane cake.

Some people put a little cherry on top.

Another name is almond-paste cake. This cake or pie is known in Belgium, France, Germany and The Netherlands. It comes from a cake we eat to celebrate the arrival of the three saints when Jesus Christ was born. Traditionally you hide a bean or a little saint in the cake batter. Who finds the bean can wear the crown. But because this is such a delicious batter, people started making it more often and put a twist to it. In a frangipane cake there's some apricot jam on the bottom and some glaze on the top. Those things are not in the three saints cake.

Now let's make it! I'll always put ounces behind the grams so everybody can make this.

Ingredients (+/- 5 persons)
For the frangipane:
200 gr (7.05 oz) self raising flour
200 gr (7.05 oz) sugar
2 eggs
80 gr (2.81 oz) almond powder
few drops of almond essence
130 gr (4.59 oz) butter
apricot jam
ready-made puff pastry (rolled up, although in Belgium it's like that)

For the glaze:
150 gr (5.29 pz) powder sugar
3 tbs water

Preparation
Before you start you need to preheat you oven to 190°C or 374°F. The baking process takes approximately 45 minutes and the preparation about 10 minutes.

You're going to need a bowl to mix everything in and a mixer off course. I'm using a tin like in the picture.

First you have to beat the butter to a creamy mass. Then you add the eggs, sugar and the almond extract and you beat for another five minutes. Sift the flower and the almond powder while adding it while beating.

Instead of making one big one, you can always
make a few little ones per person.

Now you can put the puff pastry in the tin (make sure you grease it a little bit). You have to puncture some holes in the pastry with a fork.
After you done this, you smear the jam on the bottom. You can choose how much you use, a thick layer or a thin layer. You pour your almond batter on top of the jam.
Normally the pastry will be a little bigger than the tin so you cut off what's too much. You use these leftovers and put them crosswise on top of the batter, like in the picture.

Now you're cake or pie is ready to go into the oven for 45 minutes on 190°C or 374°F. Before taking your cake out of the oven, puncture with a knife to see if any batter sticks to it. If it does, the cake needs 5 minutes more. If your knife comes out clean, you can take it out and let it cool down.

When the frangipane is cooled down, we can finish it off with some extra sweetness. Something to make your cake shine, is to put a little bit jam and let it melt in the microwave. You take a brush and put a very thin layer of jam on your cake. But that's something you don't have to do, it makes it sticky and extra sweet so you choose.
What you do have to do is put some glaze on top of it. You add water little by little to the powder sugar while stirring it. When the glaze is done, you put it on the cake, a big circle in the middle or everywhere. You can also put some almond flakes on top to finish it off!

Off course you can always change some ingredients according to your taste. Some people don't add the jam or add another fruit. It's really up to you to experiment a little, that is if you're a good cook.

I really hope you enjoy this delicious cake/pie! Please do let me know if it worked and you can always show me yours!

This is how mine came out. I tried two different types of glaze. I mixed two different amounts of water to the powder sugar. You do it how you like, I love both :-)

Love,
Sinitta

Valentine's Day is coming!

Hello dear bloggers and others from around the world!

My favorite day is arriving, Valentine's Day! I always get super excited. Although some people say it's just a market strategy to make us consume more and buy more, I still get excited for it. But I do have to say my Valentine's gifts are mostly DIY. I once made a wish jar. I put in all these little papers with sweet messages on them or date ideas or just a; let's stay in tonight and order some pizza. Tom adored it, he said it was the cutest thing ever. I'm really happy he goes along with my cheesiness, that's just how we are!

For this years Valentine's Day, I'm also thinking about a DIY gift. I was thinking about making him some soap with a manly scent maybe? But that's just so much work and I'm not really good at chemistry so that's a no-go after all. I know he loves it when I bake things, especially my frangipane cake. It's a cake we bake when we celebrate that the three saints went to visit Jesus Christ. So normally we bake it a few weeks after Christmas but it's so good, I like to eat it all year 'round! Also, the traditional cake to celebrate the saints is a little different than the frangipane cake. In my next post, I'll write the recipe for this delicious treat!

That could be one idea. If you're good at baking, do make this! It's so yummy.. Or bake something else. Who doesn't like a chocolate cake? We have a saying here in Belgium; a man's love goes through his stomach! So food is always a good idea.

If you're not really a great cook, then you can always do other DIY-projects as a gift for your lover. You can make a cute card yourself. I always enjoy making a card myself because you can really put your feelings in it or show your drawing skills. He will definitely appreciate that you've put so much effort in it! Here are some ideas I saved for my own inspiration. Beware, it's super cheesy. Just how I like it.

I love beards and cats so this is my absolute favorite! It's super funny!

Some are easy to make, like the one with washi-tape. Others involve some skills, like drawing. But even if you think you're not much of a drawer, give it a try! It's always sweeter to give something you made yourself.


And if all the DIY is just too much for you, there's still Etsy! I love Etsy! Everybody should know about Etsy in my opinion! It's all hand crafted goods and even supplies for your own DIY-projects. I've already searched the many shops for some lovely gifts and here's my list, maybe it helps give you some inspiration!

1. This super chic and cute tie clip! If you're going on a date and you both are going
to dress up, this a good one. You can also change the inscription for free! This is for the classy men among our lovers.

Personalized Hand Engraved Vintage Brass Skinny Tie Clip
€29, 11 - you can change the inscription for free.

2. Some guys like some cool jewelry or accessories  and these are pretty cool! You can also just check the shop, Galismens, because they have great jewelry for men. It's maybe not super cheap but hey, he's worth it right?

Men's necklace with silver spear
€31,84

Men's bracelet in brown leather
€29, 11

3. Now let's not forget there are some men who love to pamper themselves. My boyfriend is a man like that. He has a big beard (which I truly think is super sexy on him) and it's really important to take care of the beard real good. So here are some manly beauty products!

Deluxe Beard Care Beard Set Gifts For Him Gift For Men DBCSK
€31,95
I gave this to Tom last year and he was really happy with these products!

Or for the men who want a clean shave!
Shave Set with Brush, Handmade Beer Soap
€22,74

Outer Space Artisan Soap
€7,73
- This is a preorder and will ship February 9th.
Make sure you place your order in time! I reckon this will be out in no time
because it looks so cool!

4. You can also choose to get some tech supplies for your cute nerd! Choose from sleeves to iPad holders or phone covers. Some ideas.

World map Mac Book 13" sleeve
€36,29
You can choose different laptop models!

This is the coolest thing ever, maybe I'll buy this myself
because Tom is a real gamer and a little bit of a nerd.
FAVORITE♥
Nintendo NES controller Samsung Galaxy Smartphone Android USB charging dock
€29,11

Docking station by JigsawFurnishings
€34,11

5. Lastly some random gifts I found interesting on Etsy and Urban Outfitters.

Retro gaming poster
€16,28 - from Etsy

New York City map 1890
available in different sizes and printing quality
€11, 78 - from Etsy

Electroplated Skull Money Bank in Black
was €20, now €12 - from Urban Outfitters

Brooklyn Brew Shop Everyday IPA Beer Making Set
was €69, now €45 - from Urban Outfitters

I think this is a pretty good list with a variety in gifts for the love of your live. I hope you both enjoy a romantic Valentine's Day!

Love,
Sinitta

Music and how to find what you like

Hi guys,

recently I have been browsing the internet with StumbleUpon and I came on some interesting sites to find music you like or may like. I find it very hard sometimes to find artists who are a little bit similar to artists I already listen to. This website generates a cloudy thing with the artist you choose in the center: www.music-map.com. It's really helpful, I've just tried it for the artist Banks and I found some great other artists! Like Mt.Wolf and The Hics. I have been listening to an EP by Banks called Waiting Game and that only has 4 songs and I wanted a bit more music like this so I was super glad to find a site to help me with this!

Here are my favorite songs by these artists, it's very calm, I love the mood and the voices!

Love, Sinitta

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons.
You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes

my little saviors

Hi everyone!

I forgot to post a message about my two little saviors, the ones who keep me smiling from time to time.

 

Meet Fred & Hazel! Fred is the little grey bunny, he is a male and a teddybunny (we think so anyways). Hazel is the Havana-colored one and she is a lionhead and a female, duh. We have them since april (Fred on April, 26th and Hazel on the 29th). They are both so lovable! They are very social and so absolutely sweet. Fred is a little bit more reserved, Hazel is just flat out crazy. She can go from calm to jumpy in a split second!
First of all, they are housebunnies who go in their cage when I'm not around. They both live in my room, which does needs some more maintenance then when they are in another room because I sleep there. They pee and poo in a litterbox, littertraining was not hard at all. I bought biological pellets and did it a litterbox with their hay on top and they immediately understood.

Housing

My bunnies are very small, although Hazel is a little bigger than Fred, so they don't really need large spaces. Because Fred is producing hormones, he lives separate now. He lives in a dog bench (from a border collie so it's big) which is very easy 'cause I can open the gate for him so he can hop out and back in whenever he wants to. Hazel lives on top of him in a normal bunny cage. It's not because their housing is big enough for them to jump around in, that they don't need exercise! I let them out daily in my room to drain some energy and to keep them fit. This is really important, they need this for at least an hour every day! When they are out, I provide them with a little house made out of a cardboard box. They love a place to hide, that's their nature. They also have some toys and wood sticks for nibbling.

Food

It's mostly known that bunnies need a lot of food and with a lot I really mean tons and tons and tons of hay. Hay is their main food, they nibble on it all day long. They can never have no hay, that's really unhealthy for them. Next they need greens; veggies and some fruit. I give my bunnies parsley, mint, carrots (this has a lot of sugar, not too much!!) and herbs from my garden. I also give them grass. As fruits, it's mostly a tablespoon each. When I give them raspberries, which they are fond of, I give them one each. I also give them apple and strawberries. You should always give them three veggies/herbs and a tablespoon of fruit. Sometimes I also give them pellets with extra vitamins especially for bunnies. I try not to give them too much muesli but sometimes I do because that also has some vitamins, although they don't really need these so that's really up to you to choose.
Bunnies also need water, unlimited off course, just like any other animal.
You can give your bunnies treats, there are special nibble bars which you can buy in every pet store specially for bunnies. They love that! I also have raisins and veggiechips, but I am super frugal when it comes to treats, I never give them more than two. Too much sugar is really bad for their health!

Care

Both my bunnies are long-haired ones, so they need grooming. I groom them when I feel like grooming them but I always make sure I do it once a week. This is the kind of groom I use for my bunnies:

I also have a comb for ticks which can be used to do the cheeks a little bit. When you groom your bunny, make sure you're disturbing it. When they don't want it or feel like it, they will let you know by turning away or not sitting still. Just let them be then and do it some other time. My bunnies, just like most long-haired bunnies, shed, so in these periods grooming is extra important.
Bunnies clean themselves, you do not have to give them a bath. Doing this can cause a flu, you don't want that. But it can happen that poo sticks to your bunnies butt (Hazel and Fred both had this) when their poo is a little liquid. Then you have to give their butt a bath, a little bowl with some water and just clean the butt. No soap!!! Their skin is very fragile! I had to cut away some hair because it made really bad nods.. To do this, I asked my sister to help me because as I said, their skin is so fragile, a little cut and they might bleed to death! When you're not sure what to do, always call a vet. I did that too when I saw my bunnies had liquid poo but still a little solid, I called a vet right away.

IMPORTANT
When you see your bunny has liquid poo, real watery, legit diarrhea, you have to go to a vet immediately! Your bunny will sit very still at this point and show no energy what so ever. Your bunny is dehydrating very fast and they can die within minutes!
IMPORTANT


What you also need is a little pair of nail clippers for bunnies, their nails can grow too long and that's not so good. This is how it looks:

And in the image above you can see where to cut. If your bunny has an entire black nail, maybe it's better if you go to the vet to let him show you where to cut.
What you also should buy is a nibble stone, a hard stone where they will nibble on and they will also scratch their nails on it. This can also be found in the pet store, because it's not just any stone..

Socialization

A bunny is no dog, nor a cat, you have to interact differently with them. First of all, keep in mind that bunnies are prey animal. Try to avoid chasing your bunny to pick it up or pet it because this will make them scared and they will think of you as a predator. When you notice your bunny is uncomfortable around you, just go into a room with not too much distraction for the bunny, take a book with you or something, a little toy for the bunny and just be together. Bunnies are very curious so they will come up to you after a while and start sniffing you, you need to gain their trust. Only pet them when they feel okay with it, when you see they startle when you touch them, stop. You can repeat it later on, this might take some time but trust me, it is absolutely worth it. I did it with both my bunnies, Hazel still doesn't like being picked up, but I have to to put her back in her cage. She is always a little bit more quite after I did this but after a while she comes back greeting me, asking for attention. Bunnies are lovely pets, they will come and ask for your attention, they will do the silliest things and with the right toys (cat toys with little bells in them are their favorite), they will be the best thing ever. I'm not saying everybody needs a bun, you have to be willing to be very patient and leave them be a little bit, they are a little more on their own then a dog. They are very shy animals when you don't treat them the right way.

When picking up a bunny, you must follow certain steps. Bunnies are fragile and need to be treated very gently! Here's a little video with a good explanation.

These woman have multiple videos about bunnies on YouTube,
check them out because they go over lots of topics with clear explanations and tricks and tips. 

All my knowledge comes from bunnymama on Instagram and by owning my own bunnies, doing lots of research. You should always consider that bunnies can last up to 10 years when given the proper care. Visit eddyrambo.com for more information about bunnies! This is also a site I saved in my bookmarks: http://www.rabbit.org/journal/3-6/chew-stick.html, about bunny habits, psychology a little bit.

I hope this was very helpful and if you have questions, leave them in the comments!

Love, Sinitta
& Fred and Hazel!